6 Signs You Go to University College Cork – Part 1

1. The ORB is just a giant rat maze

The ORB or O’Rahilly Building is a hexagon shaped building containing no discernable landmarks other the Cork’s only Starbucks (It’s fake but..). Rumour has it that O’Rahilly’s dying wish was to have a giant rat maze to view from the heavens. However at the end of the day there’s nothing funny to say about getting lost in the building – it’s just fucking soul destroying.

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2. The KC’s/Lennoxes debate is never ending

Everyone has a favourite and the few people who don’t like either are social outcasts – which is where College of Commerce came from. However the debate is really indicative of a much deeper problem – class warfare – as only students who can afford cars are able to visit KC’s out in Douglas.

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3. Walking across the Quad Crest will result in pregnancy

Many a student both male and female have fallen foul of becoming pregnant by stepping on the crest but not many people know where it gets its powers from. George Boole is UCC’s most famous probably only Mathematician judging by this year’s lot of Arts Students but the crest marks the spot where he had his only and only sexual encounter on campus, a too quick fumble during the first ever R&G week. Having regretted his lack of sexual prowess during his academic years he haunts the crest to this day looking to get lucky with anyone who crosses.

 

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4. Bake sales are where societies get 99% of their money

Eat. Sleep. Bake. Repeat. Stuck for a society event? Have a bake sale! As well as smokers lining the walls of the Boole library there’s also daily bake sales where you’ll undoubtedly be forced to pay far too much for a bun bought in Tesco. However while we could make fun of society people’s easy bake oven skills all day we do have a lot of respect for bake sales – they pay for the endless supply of jellies on campus.

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5. Weddings are common place on campus

No that isn’t a the Arts Ball still going from last night – it’s a wedding! UCC is the most beautiful college in Ireland and was even featured on How I Met Your Mother. Because of its beauty and the fact that it doesn’t have any cobblestones to trip over brides to be (looking at you Trinity) the college now plays host the weddings on a nearly weekly basis.

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6. Neptune stadium is where dreams go to die

What’s so bad about Neptume Stadium? Well what’s so good about it? UCC has roughly 20,000 students, which make up 40% of Cork’s population, meaning that it has no place to fit us all on campus except for R&G week where it magically expands. The sheer size of the student body means that there’s 2 off site places for exams, The Mardyke and Neptune and frankly getting chosen for the Neptune is akin to being chosen as the sacrificial lamb in a cult. It’s far away, cold and located on the North Side – might as well be in CIT like, speaking of which…

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