not only did i piece myself up together, but i had also let myself down a couple hundred times.
it’s weird that i did not notice how my mind drifted away into another world; all i wanted to think about was the colour of your eyes under the bright amber lights.
to break my soul over and over is what i am infamous for.
over and over again.
not only is life pulling me down, holding me by the threads, tangling my limbs with the heavy ropes that they call strings, the feelings – the emotions that surround me strangle my lungs; constricting the easy access of breathing, of oxygen pulling me under and setting me free.
the nicotine of life – of love makes me suffocate.
i feel like i am crawling down the same hole that i can’t get out of.
the same, deep dark trench where i had spent eternity in. the fear of letting my guard down, of being – feeling alive.
to unburden the burdens that i’m struggling to keep a hold of. to unravel the demons that i’ve spent too long keeping hidden.