December Horoscopes

Motley’s Mystic Mc’s Magical Predictions are back and better than ever. Let’s read the last horoscope of 2020, thank god. It’s almost over. Please end now.  Cian McDonnell – astrophysicist turned astrologist is telling all. 

 

Aries: Jupiter and Saturn get close together this month, before drifting apart. You may notice

some of your friends doing the same to you. Don’t worry – it’s not that you did anything to offend them. In the nicest way possible, you’re just too uninteresting for it to be worth staying in contact.

 

Taurus: You will forget to buy a Christmas present for someone close to you. You’ll pretend that you were trying to make a stand against commercialisation and consumerism and blah, blah, blah. But let’s face it – we all know you just. Don’t. Care.

 

Gemini: Related to the constellation of twins, mirrors were once thought to be gateways into a “twin world”. One morning you’ll wake up and think you look weird in the mirror. And you’ll be right– you do look weird! Of course, everyone else will claim not to notice anything when you ask them, but that’s how politeness works.

 

Cancer: You will receive unwanted advice from someone. You might tell them that you can handle things yourself, but it’s painfully obvious that this isn’t the case. After all, you seem to be perfectly happy to take advice from a horoscope column, which is a (star)sign that something is wrong with you.

 

Leo: On Twitter, almost half of the users are bots. With improving artificial intelligence, it’s getting harder to tell who’s a real person and who isn’t, but it’s something to think about. Especially before you decide to start arguing with that random online person over Trump’s border policy.

 

Virgo: Your constellation contains a massive galaxy cluster, densely packed, with lots of gravity. Similarly, this month you will have a grave decision to make. Whatever you decide, know that there are lots of people who want you to succeed. And many more who will laugh behind your back if you fail.

 

Libra: Venus, bringer of love, is a bright morning star this month. Since you usually don’t make it out of bed before noon, though, you may find your romantic life taking a dive. Call it what you want – “on a break”, or whatever… but beware that the break may never end.

 

Scorpio: Mercury swings rapidly around the Sun, completing its orbit once every 88 days. As you’re more of a “slow” person, you could find that things pass you by quickly this month, before you even know they’re there. Like that assignment that you were supposed to hand in last week.

 

Sagittarius: Your constellation is shaped like a teapot. This month someone will serve you a

terrible cup of tea. You’ll only know after you take the first sip, so this is unavoidable. On another note, why do you bother reading horoscopes if you can’t change the predictions they make?

 

Capricorn: You are in the sun’s sphere of influence this month. Around winter solstice, on the 21 st of December, it is extremely weak, causing dark, cold, and short days that spiral everyone into misery. Except for you, clearly, because you love to make people miserable.

 

Aquarius: You will gain thirty new followers on Instagram – a cause for celebration! Take a

moment to revel in your victory. But are they real people? With AI these days, it may be hard to tell. Think about it. After all, why would any real person want to follow your Instagram?

 

Pisces: Red Mars shines brightly in your sphere this month, leading to an increase in frustration. And yes – December can be stressful, but you need to relax for the sake of your family! After all, you’re the reason that none of your siblings enjoy coming home for the holidays.