So the New Year is upon us once again. It’s time to reassess and re-evaluate our lives. What is it about a bad case of indigestion and a belly full of turkey that leads us to dissect our lives, goals and ambitions? We are all guilty of it. We make these big, and often unrealistic, resolutions that are forgotten by mid-January. Once we’ve failed, where does it leave us? Feeling guilty and defeated when we haven’t got our underwear model figure and dream job by February? So I’m here to ask, are they a waste? Are New Year’s resolutions the solutions to all our problems, or merely a cause of many more? By Christmas 2013 where do you want to be? Or should I say, where do you realistically see yourself? Here are my top five pitfalls, or risky resolutions, if you will, to be very wary of ‘committing’ to, as they are very rarely stuck to:
1. Be a Geek.
I’m not talking hipster glasses, check shirt geek, but rather the classic: a perfect college student lark. Yes, we all say it; our mission is to hit the library every week, get assignments done with days to spare. And as for tutorials, oh boy they should fear a New Year’s resolution wrath! Everyone and their mother think tutorials will be their… erm… Let’s just say we all go after them with a vengeance – even if only for a week or two. Granted, this is a lovely sentiment, as you ring in the New Year you will, of course, be thinking about which tutorial cycle you’re on.
What’s my advice to make this pipe dream a reality? Simply try your best when you get back – remember nothing happens overnight! Try to go to the library every once in a while, brush the gruaige and wear the lip gloss – who knows, you may even find yourself on ‘Spotted in UCC’. Maybe the key is to try a little harder than you did before Christmas. Remember to be realistic as a golden week is much more achievable than a golden term. And keep in mind that there’s always study month.
2. Drink Less Water and More Jäger. Or Vice Versa.
It’s easy to say, but hard to do. Deciding you’ll go out and not drink is quite the challenge. However, it is possible. Maybe going cold turkey is a bit extreme and you’ll be setting yourself up for a fall: especially when it’s three shots for a tenner, or any of the other offers pubs are flooded with in January. An alternative to cutting out drink, with the commitment of an AA member, would be to simply cut back a bit. By all means, avail of the offers etc. But why not try sharing it with a friend? Drink a bit less and follow it down with an über-hardcore pint of water. Your head will thank you for it in the morning, as will your toilet bowl.
3. By 2013 I’ll be Gisele Bündchen.
Probably the number one resolution of all time: get fit/hot/skinny/buff, or whatever adjective works for you. After weeks of triple chocolate and extra rich caramel advertisements, the sensual voice on the television will be replaced by that super peppy full of beans person. You know the shrill I’ve-just-downed-four-Redbulls person, repeating buzz words like ‘detox’, ‘health kick’, and ‘drop a dress size’ rubbish.
Perhaps an alternative to wanting abs like Jesus would be to make a few of those obvious changes. Hit the gym once in a while, even if you only walk on the treadmill, is something. When pizzas are two for one, stick with eating the one and freeze/share the other. There’s no point in making unrealistic resolutions and then depression eating twice your body weight in Häagen-Dazs, when you don’t look like David Beckham or Kelly Brook in six weeks.
4. I’m Going to be the Best Son or Daughter in the World.
This may not be priority number one on your list of things to do, but maybe it should be. We all take people for granted and fly off the handle every now again – it’s human nature. Trying to be the perfect anything is hard. So maybe just make the effort at home, try to learn how to do your own washing in college, and not lump it all off on your mother at the weekend. Who knows maybe you could display your college culinary skills and make the parents a gourmet breakfast the odd weekend. They could learn to love beans on toast (burned, of course) as much as you do.
5. By 2013 I’ll be Alexa Chung.
Style or lack thereof is something we all vow to improve all the time, and when better to start then January, the time when everything is on sale and being cleared off. I personally am much too lazy to commit to changing my ‘style’. Who cares if you didn’t introduce the peplum to UCC – we can’t all see a trend from miles off. Come February, it’s okay if you’re still living in your only A&F tracksuit – Dublin is fairly far away to possess more than one. So you won’t get your own blog or make the cover of Vogue, but at least you’ll have money in your not-so-trend-setting arse pocket. Perhaps the solution to this resolution is to buy a very vintage, out-there coat. With the weather we get you’ll need it every day. Who needs to know that you’re head to toe in Adidas underneath?
What can we gleam from all this resolution, new-start phenomenon? Well, by all means try to improve yourself and be the best possible you that you can be, but be realistic. Maybe ‘New Year, New You’ isn’t the way forward but rather ‘New Year, Realistic Optimistic You’ is the way to go.