Report: Kyle Malone
Boole 200 is upon us, and as the bicentennial celebrations of the contributions of George Boole continue, new research carried out by the University has shown that, contrary to popular belief, George Boole was in fact “just one of the lads.”
The research in question, which originally started as an exercise to learn more about “that lad on the posters,” has startlingly revealed that the beloved professor was in every way just like the rest of us.
Adrian Bracken, head of the “1,2 skip a few Georgey Boole 200” committee was the key man behind the discovery, having poured through old records which in part refer to:
“That boy named George, who did neck the naggin right before my eyes, and he with three lectures and a tutorial on the morrow.”
These findings have sparked widespread discussion across the country, with many academic staff coming forward citing more evidence of this claim.
“These original paintings of the time show George and his fellows in their merriment, dated Monday October 6th 1849,” explains John Moore, a lecturer from the History Department. “I’ll wager this was the original Monday Club,” he added.
All the evidence now points to the fact that Boolean logic was misunderstood for centuries.
“It’s a tricky concept so it is, but instead of mathematics, George’s memoirs themselves tell us exactly what this logic was,” John tells us, flipping open a journal.
November 1849-I’ll just go for one. I have that assignment due tomorrow-haven’t even started. I’d say I’ll get Ramen later on. Pints in the new bar? Why not. Must get mixer later. Did they take attendance….
George’s exploits started when he took up residence in the Victoria Mill, where his roommates would go onto describe him as “a legend” and “actually sound.” Rumours that Boole was also “great banter” are heavily denied.
A series of lectures have been arranged in honour of Boole’s many achievements, and in light of this new evidence these lectures have now been carefully modified to include critical instalments such as:
- Two centuries of change: What did George Boole put in a chicken roll?
- Not tonight: The social life of George Boole and friends
- Boolean logic: Few naggins, grand or not?
As news of the discoveries spread, lads from all over campus have flocked to several Boole pilgrimage sites and already a petition has formed to turn RAG week into “Raise and George” week. We eagerly await updates to see what exactly students must do in order to “George,” though university scholars note it is unlikely this process will involve attending lectures.
“Of course these findings are all still in the early days,” said John Moore, speaking again about his new idol George Boole.
“We still have several further tests to cover in order to verify Boole was a lad. He has shown no evidence yet of Canterbury tracksuit pants and he far from satisfies the Nextflix and Chill Criteria of 1912. Still, the excitement is building.”
Building indeed. With his name already on six lecture theatres and a library, George is set to continue his monopoly on campus as the University open up talks about constructing the South Wing in his honour.