Words: Kyle Malone
With RAG week over, UCC students have now settled into March, a month whose only merits are being bombarded with free stuff during SU elections and also the national celebration of “Drink More than the Other Days” day.
Even the former has caused issues this year, with some claiming the newly formed “Students’ Onion” makes them cry, while others have raised concerns that the union, which has become more and more “transparent”, is now actually invisible and we can’t remember where we left it last. With such monotony widespread, it is no wonder UCC students everywhere have turned their attention towards the summer, which although somewhat blocked by the wall of exams, now looms closely up in front of them. I went down to campus to hear what students have in mind.
“To be honest I’ll probably look for a job. Everyone knows work experience is important in our current economic climate. There may also be the minor issue of funding night outs, while the money for the holiday that I’ll ultimately quit said job for has to come from somewhere”, said Sharon O’Donnell, of the Arts faculty. We queried had she had any luck in finding a position, but left her to her thoughts as she pondered where exactly on the River Lee this “JobBridge” was.
Meanwhile Emmet O’Connor, an engineering student, has bigger things in mind. “Myself and a couple of the lads are going to head on a J1. We were thinking California, though I know it can be tricky to find a job. Sure if Trump gets elected maybe I can go work on this wall of his; A Game of Thrones type of position, I’d imagine.”
Back on the other side of the Atlantic, the popularity of inter‐railing looks set to continue, as once more UCC’s best and brightest head off in the vain hope at least one of them will remember their Junior Cert Geography, or failing that, the contents of the board game “Discovering Europe.” Elsewhere, the battle of “Most Basic City Destination” continues. For the third year running, Edinburgh locks horns with Amsterdam, with recent months showing the Dutch city has shown favourable increases in metrics such as: “Instagram of flight tickets +/‐ quote”.
The summer will also notably see the installation of new plugs in the library, which though received well by many has caused outrage among future SU candidates, who have released a statement saying manifesto ideas are now at a record low, with the work to improve library hours also “a step in the wrong direction as far as getting me elected is concerned”.
Perhaps those least looking forward to the summer are those for whom it is the end of the education line. We arranged an interview with master’s graduate Amy Warren, but on arrival saw her being dragged off campus by security, all the while shouting “not to make her go out there.” As the college dream ends for many, we recommend people to take heart in the fact that they can now settle in for 40 years of thankless 9am‐5pms, which ultimately will probably fund “that future lad falling out of Voodoo on a Thursday night.”
Next time, we shall hold an exclusive interview with the Department of Medicine, who have been busy continuously shuddering this month in response to the news a room in Brookfield is to be declared “common.”
